Dieting with no money
If you have specific plans to leave, you may find it easier to ask for financial help. Its all me, hes a good husband and i am crazy. Tired of being called and cussed out while I am at work. He stays out all night, cheats, goes to strip clubs and just treats me like the help. Feeling very stuck and I know my day will come. How to Leave Your Husband When You Have No Money. I would not worry about what everyone thinks or says, and honestly I would mainly rely on myself when it comes to your care and your children. I bought a tiny house 3 hours away from my ex. They knew that my husband was bad for me, but I ignored all of their warnings. I was in your situation without a job and no kid. You may very well be entitled to alimony, at least until you are financially self-supporting. I have no idea what is available in your area — this is work you have to find time to do. Since he is always accuses me of cheating I have to literally walk with my head down and not say anything about my environment because he feels that out of respect if any man walks by I should not see them or make it look like I see them. I would of left then buy he had all the family assets tied up and hidden untraceable or a least very hard to account for. Over the years, I got lonely and created a Facebook page. He treats my daughter the way he treats me. None of these programs help a WORKING mother. You need to create this map yourself, one step at a time. Also I found a great life coach at church that I saw two to three times a week to keep me motivated. At All Iam also in the process of leaving but not financially able now but believe in Name of Jesus i will leave soon trying to get help from organization n my Family members. I just have so much anxiety in breaking free and in starting over. We can do it we can gain control for our childreN and ourselves. But the simple fact is many of these programs are geared towards keeping you a victim mindset. I have no car and whenever I tell him that I want a divorce he threatens to take full custody of my son. Tired of waking up and leaving my house in the morning crying because of the hateful things that were yelled at me or my kids. I know you can do it, I can feel your spirit of survival in your story. I have searched and searched for help and not received from organizations. All I can do is encourage you to stay hopeful and courageous, and to find strength in blogs like this and in-person support groups. I am unemployed, not abused, no kids, and no family. Ksren, please do not let this continue for one more second. You have to get your children away from this. We must learn how to cope with stress because we will never, ever avoid it. By the time I am done I will have been unemployed for 4 years. You qualify to recieve half of any social security HE made all those years too, in divorce court. I started researching how to leave him when I had no money and I found your post. He doesnt physically abuse me he has pushed me a few times but physically no he isnt. Corporate housing would at least cut out the additional utilities but again I would my credit. He charged at me while I was cooking and I had a knife and I cut his chest a little bit then he charged me to the couch by my neck choking me in front of my 3 kids and niece and nephew. I turned 26 20 days ago and I was mesmerized by a man 15 years my senior almost 4 years ago. I have been in a relationship for 12 years now. I am 54 and gave up everything I had left for Dr. Personally, I think that you would heal faster in your own little place, working toward your dreams. It is sad, but it helps to see others in the same boat. I never even had children so that decreases my chances for help. He is NOT allowed to mess with my self worth. The horrible part is that even though he treats me this way I still love him and would be the happiest woman in the world if he would just love me the way I needed to be loved. How is it possible that MOST men are like this. It was the most fun I have had in a really long time. You need to call mobil crisis and social service. When we got married I moved to where he lived. I have 2 boys the youngest special needs. Telling me what I have already done wrong whether it be with the kids or whatever. Pay uhaul, give her an exxon gift card to make sure she makes it to where she is going. They need to know that it is not okay for people to do this to others. So I I finally kicked him out after he became violent, and threatening. He used to drink but stopped after a motorcycle accident he had in 2012 and he was doing better amd one day in 2015 he was laid off due to his employer suspecting he was using drugs on the job. I will stand strong and get out for me and my kids so sad he can not change for himself he is a non working abuser and will surely rep what he has sown thank god for wisdom and peace that surpasses all understand read the bible spiritual healing first Jesus will build you up from there. It is not okay to hurt another and it is not okay to be hurt by another. I implore you God to help me financially to relocate and support myself. Find a place to live and get your career and mind ready for being independent. That voice will tell you what the next step is. They are too caught up in their own stupid realtionships. WHICH made and has made leaving and getting help pretty hard, BUT not impossible. However, he likes to throw up how we should be going and feeds into a lot of their masagonist ideas. Too many people I meet say exactly the same story and its such a quiet national shame that always ends up swept under the rug. He is around me SO much that I barely have time for anything. I dont know how i got here sometimes and dont know how to unravel myself from him. He did a few times when the baby was around 3 months. A women who takes care for her children can not work until her children are 5 years of age even then the children do not attend school full time. for years. This means money to move, money to settle. He is showing his weakness by doing that. Some people enjoy stressed out people around them, it helps them feel powerful and relaxed. I choose to maintain a positive attitude, especially because I have kids. My husband controlled everything financial, and anytime I stood up for myself, it would become a battle. And he hit me when I was about to have the baby. My mom and dad are financially comfortable and have money that they would give me if I wanted to walk away from this relationship. I lost my job, and I am trying to finish school. I found a shelter in my area with a 3 month program to help abused women and kids get started in a new life and I am creating my exit plan now. How do you leave an unhappy marriage or bad relationship when you have no money. I can tell that no one ever believes me anyway. Cash I would put into my cleaning supply cabinet in my home made safe which was an empty lysol wipes container. I feel like i threw my life away on someone who took it and destroyed it. I am tired of looking at my body covered with bruises my lover put there hate. Sometimes I wish I never would have had kids w him but I love my kids so much. So please if there is any local agencies that anyone knows in Coral Springs, Florida, please guide me. I thought it was the drinking and so left him and allowed him back when he quit. I am so relieved I did because I was the one always leaving with my two young children. My job is not enough to get a place of my own. Then he complains and says I am trying to check out from taking care of the kids. My kids dont deserve to watch as she helps kill him. She stopped wondering how to leave her husband without money, and started actually making plans to end her marriage. 2 from my previous marriage, 1 from his, 1 together. I am having the same thoughts as I scroll through all of these comments. We have no control over the content of these pages. It is the sky over the place where he can not hurt me anymore. I get no help from him or his family with our children so as soon as i get them on the bus for school i leave for work as soon as i get off work i get them off of the bus get them snacks help with homework than do everything. I think at this point im more angry at myself. You can do it, and when your ready it will fall into place. I will loose my benefit and he will be well off but I know I will have my sanity back. I have no place to live other than with him and no car to get anywhere to leave to. Do not waste another season of your life on him. Eventually he will use you up and throw you away. A disability lawyer may be able to help you as well becauseyour health aliments are worthy of assistance. Before I felt my life slipping away wasted in a meaningless life of survival only. Im scared of going through a messy divorce. The stronger and more grounded you are, the easier all decisions will be. I truly hope you understand your husband is just HAPPY being unhappy. But I thought that there was help from agencies for people who are physically abused especially if children are involved. I had a few family members and friends who wanted to try to get together. My husband and I have been married almost 15 years. I have been the main financial support and bill payer. Now since the economy has gone sour we are suffering barely holding on to our home of 20 years. Call your church, and talk to your pastor. Try and analyse the meaning behind these events without emotion- when u can- and synchronicity can help u flow in the right direction. I have 4 children and my husband knocked out 2 teeth when he assaulted me. He improved himself and lost a bunch of weight. Maybe you can reach out and see what kind of deal one would be willing to help you with and something else some times if your supervisor knows that you are having to move and nothing Eleanor they may offer a more flexible schedule to help out with your son giving you spitted more time to get him there. my baby is tired and crying. There are financial grants out their for immigrants. Keep all your passwords private or change them. Trust me when I say it wont get any better. Im simply astonished at the sheer number of men who act this way. He finally agrees to leave then drills into me in the parking lot. Remind yourself what you are walking away with: your life, your health, your future. If you write openly and honestly, you can work through painful problems. Wow. We have all gotten to where we just do not like him. We are women we are strong and we deserve better than this. And understand when you are making positive changes and improving upon yourself he will not be supportive. I no everyone says just leave just leave its not easy. I soo want out but feel stuck because I have no money to leave. I basically run his company for him because he is too busy spending time with his strippers to do it himself. Even if he has not physically harmed the children yet, you are still allowing them to be in harms way. Just know you have to leave the moment you get the money in your hands. He didnt get violent until i was 7 months pregnant with our 4th child after six years of marriage and knowing his family since i was 12. I have been in an abusive marriage for 6 years. I always invited him and asked him to come with me. A woman who wasnt abused would NOT put up for even two minutes of what is going on. Start dreaming about your life, planning your future, and thinking about all the possibilities. He had a beer left and his dessert on the way. I now have a son with him and wish I had gotten out before this cuz it complicates leaving. When I came back out, we would have driven off. Have you tried to appeal the SS administrations decision. And do make a record of all instances of abuse. Emotional abuse and financial abuse is very real. I pray that you make wise decisions for your future, and hold on to the people who treat you with love, kindness, and compassion. I realized I was living a sick person, that I was in an unhealthy environment. I opened a checking account got two charge cards and have been saving. But the way it sounds from the comments, they are not doing the right things to help. He is truly a good man, stable job, bills paid on time, kind and loving. Like so many women I know the biggest mistake that I have made is not leaving sooner. He may not hit me but I think some times it would be much better than the mental, emotional, and financial abuse and control is far worse. He would be perfectly content staying in a loveless marriage. Kim, how inspiring and some really major pointers. May you build healthy relationships, and may you learn how to make smart, good decisions for you and your baby. It is sad that im here reading this because that means im not alone. Have to remember Who I was before I met Him which was a Beautiful Calm Peaceful loving Woman. I have no family who can help, they live in a different state. My 7 year old is old enough to know when matt is in a bad mood and i ask him to go in his room and put on headphones but my 2 year old is witnessing all of the hostility and hears all the nasty things said about me. It took me 5 years to get him out of my life. I plan on pretending to be happy with him and lying low to buy a car. I appreciate you taking your valuable time to address my concerns. But he wants to continue to NOT do any of the things that they stand for. I am afraid that once I get my refund he will try to take it or sabotage my money so will have to stay. There is very little chance for her to get out of this hell until her children starts to go to school. We had an altercation after him accusing me and healing in front of my kids at me. But most states deny if you have been disabled for less than a year or if your income has been above the requirements of the state. Placing my kids in public schools is a sickening thought for me because of the environment of our local schools. I had no business marrying anyone during the time of my life i did. I never ever once made plans with any of them without including him. I would love to be spending that time doing something fun. Now that she is a teenager, she is beginning to see the things that I go through. Thank you for sharing this as I am secretly saving to leave. I keep planning but it seems more like a pipe dream than a goal. Thank you so much for expressing what is REALLY happening to scores of women everywhere. But, you may find that sharing your experience brings clarity and insight. Thanks for this article on how to come up with ways to set back money. Needless to say our marriage has been in trouble for quite some time. My birthdays would come and my husband was so wrapped up in himself and how great he is, He would say lets do our birthdays. He does little to nothing to make a change. Then come to find out later that two of his uncles were sitting in the living room talking VERY perverted about me. I thought that was what they existed for. I really want to leave and I have no money. You give me some truly insightful things to think about. He is a hermit now and refuses to really do anything at all. I have two degrees and skills but i dont even believe that can help. I realized he never really took care of me only takes care of his damn self. I wish all of you the best and I know God is going to continue to watch over us all. Because like many have said here, it better to hv a roof over our childs head. And when I was pregnant I walked my butt to work everyday And I PAID THE RENT. He liked it on Facebook alone with all her selfies. You are stronger than you think, smarter than you believe, and more courageous than you know. I am currently stuck n want to leave but have no money, it is far worse with children and wish my child was not his sperm. Find out about your financial situation and where and how the money is. I have always had my own job, money, etc. Do you have a checking or savings account. I have a box of Shampoo, toothpaste, soap, TP, etc ready to go. Did he really just not know that I was down sick when he got totally pissed at me for the kitchen being dirty. Do a local search — which means you need to search for those terms with your exact location. Yes Catherine you are right bcuz I am guilty of it myself. Today i feel utterly hopeless so it was nice to hear what you are saying. We both realized they had some major bs going there. You need to inventory your skills and abilities, and find ways to optimize them. I always gave all the money I made to my husband, ALWAYS. bills or for the medication I need. This is the truest most on point and articulate description of my life i have ever heard. Here makes me work to support its while I have high blood pressure and herniated discs in my back. While he sits, staring at me NEVER saying a word. Give them pure and total hell, and chemicals are produced by the rest of the pack that dramatically decreases their sex drives, increases their cortisol levels of stress, and even has them fighting amongst themselves according to rank to really get the nasty abisuve behavior in. When you stay in a marriage like that, you enable every negative behavior your husband possesses. She went to Social Services, to churches, and to my grandma for help. Our fighting and his abuse is affecting the boys and they are insecure angry and having a very bad time. I do have a plan which is to slowly build my credit find a way to hide some money away so I can leave and get a car so I wont loose my job. Definitely gain your independence so you can get money to leave your husband. I bury my head in the lives of my kids and pray to God for mercy to get me through each day. Disclaimer: Gayhappens. Make sure she signs a legal document that says she and the abusive jerk must return all the funds received. We had a fight tonight about him hiding things on his phone. I have been married to a controlling emotional psychological mental abuser 20 years. Start a journal, and write down all your hopes, dreams, and plans. Because o project our bills out 4 months ahead. Start by calling the office closest to you. I too have a husband who has decided to stop working at the age of 29. He is verbally abusive to me and I really need to get out for my own mental state but also because this is an awful environment for my kids. I am still financially trapped and he threatens to find me and take the children away if i tell him i have to leave. Stop thinking and feeling and make a plan, right now. I am honest in that he is not the only one to blame. We realized together that his father was also a sadistic narcissist, although not physically and sexually abusive like my family. He would constantly tell me how fat I was. You are a mother and it sounds like you have boys, get them out of that before some poor girl later when they are dating is being treated poorly like he does you. You are best to tell only family because you need to do this safely, and quietly. In NJ, The court system will doc pay checks and the child support goes directly to the primary parent. Remove your emotions, start being a prepared woman and make a list of things you will need. In the beginning he was a little controlling, but I brushed it off. Every day i get up and get it together, sometimes with fishing wire and twine, but i am realizing I wont survive, be it physical or mental if I dont leave. I know this is the saddest most hurtful depressing thing I have ever gone thru. I hear your pain and hear allot of my own in what you say. He eliminated all of my friends and alienated MOST of my family. It is so sad and disheartening to see so many people having such similar horrible circumstances. I have three beautiful kids with him and I hate to think how much this will hurt them. He only gives me a few dollars a month so I can buy shampoo and toothpaste. I left him for 2 months and he managed to make me feel like i was still stuck and i ended up coming back to the house. It turns out that all of that concern was his way of getting an angle on me, to use against me later. I am feeling better and I think looking better. I have been a member for 8 months and I only do about 3 surveys a day and I still average about 30 dollars a week which adds up quickly for minimal effort. But I grew up to be a strong, vibrant, smart, educated, motivated, happy, Christian woman. What friends do you want to spend time with. Just like they promise not to have a drink. Having jobs with daycares, having daycares which do not cost arm and a leg. Instead I got a man who controls my every move. It is written on websites that you will get help from this place or that place but when you actually go to these places for help there is none. Then coming up with a reason to leave my presence. I want out of this loveless, sexless, and emotionally abuse relationship but I have no where To go. May you find the financial help you need to leave your marriage and start over. Never stand for being hit by Anyone ever. I even find myself going crazy most days and have to remain strong for me almost 2 year old baby. I have PCOS and am supposed to stay far away from stress. Does anyone know of any charities that give used cheap cars and offers help with getting a part time job. Claiming that if I am close to his sister we will just talk bad about him. I am so hurt, scared, sad, angry and just alone now. You have to learn which assets are most favorable and what strategies are best for managing (and ultimately paying off) liabilities. All I feel is dissention n Evil towds this Man. This will help me when I am starting out and not having to buy and spend what little money I have. My final thought is if he wants to be King of the castle that is fine as long as I am treated like a Queen. So still upset that my husband has given up on working knowing we have no safety net and let my daughter pay every bill we have to keep us housed with not a second thought, left me wondering who is this man I was so in love with. I was in the bank opening my personal account when the agent asked me what was wrong seeing my tear stained eyes and wow, wouldnt you know it shes been through it too. And all this time ive kept it from others. This is part of taking action, and it will help you feel more in control of your life. Start walking or jogging to give yourself time to think and strategize. How will you leave your husband when you have no money. Stay focused on what you will achieve in your life, and how much better it will be for your kids and yourself. I really think that this country really need to step up and do something for women like me. Husband accuses me every chance he gets of lying, cheating or some other deceitful thing. He has to go to the grocery store on a daily basis to get the what he thinks we need. I applied for OTA at the near by community school and was accepted. My problem now is how to leave when I have no money, no 4 year degree (I have a 2 yr degree) but have been out of the workforce now for 8 years. With three small children, at the time, he would leave and go out with friends all hours of the night. In fact, the very reason i am on this site is because of the way my man treats me, I keep thinking I should get out. His whole presence is just negative and mean. He suffers with epileptic seizures and even LIKE THAT hes still a monster in my eyes. I am not sure why you think it is a racial matter. Left him numberous times but always come back. Well my parents never taught me how to call long distance so I would start walking. I would LOVE to be able to do that, AND YOU ARE RIGHT THERE. No joy, No special person to share my life with. NOW he insults me telling me I look like a drug addict and that I am too skinny. I implore You, God to help me to plan a safe exit. That way you will meet people and begin to have resources and information that otherwise you just do not know about. Yet, on the other hand, it is terrible knowing there are so many people out there that are like this. My oldest is a teenage girl who is becoming more aware of the bad situation and a little depressed her self about it. Our relationship began in the usual classic narcissistic manner. I feel stuck until the children are older. Focus on the fact that you WILL get money to leave your husband. I am in a situation where my husband is a good person just not the person I want to be with. Have you considered asking your mom and dad for a financial loan. Yes everyone, feel bad for you, yes there are many agency out there to lend a hand. There are options to get help with debt BUT there is no help with an abusi e spouse. I am so grateful to you for not only writing this, but for sharing it. My marriage started out abusive before we got married. Collecting cans and turning them in for cash. I have serious problems with my heart and I am no longer able to work. I threw my life away on him and he has destroyed everything i had. If you are a Christian, call a few churches and ask if they have assistance for abused women. I will just have to play it by ear and listen to my instincts. I know that I am a great woman I am smart loving and caring I work full time I take care of our home our son and I go to school but he calls me lazy even though all he ever does is go to work come home and sit on his ass. I pray for continued strength as you move forward, as you continue to make plans to leave, and as you think about your future. At 30 years old he has a year whithout work and evertime Ask him to find a job he stars screaming at me, and I have to pay for everything sometimes I dont even have for food because what I get is not enough for food or buy clothes for my baby. But I did find much help when I started to seek God. And of course we will hear, well many of them go back and that would be a waste of our funds. No, it is not you at fault for what he does. How to Leave Your Husband When You Have No Money. Our daughter has the hardest part with sleepingbon the floor because she had brain surgery in 2012 and it hurts her head but he doesnt care. I am not going through domestic violence, but I am living a life since being with this man that I seem to be in a constant state of confusion. The most powerful source of wisdom and truth that still, small voice inside of you. On the weekend I clean, wash clothes, wash the mountain of dishes, etc. Nothing I ever do is good enough for him. Us women need to stand uo for ourselves against abuse of any kind. I am going to start a fund to help other women in similar situations. The nearly impossible task of getting blood from a stone. I wish I had the perfect solution and the right things to say to you. You may feel that your life is bad right now, but maybe this will help a little -you have some things that I wish I could have. We share a car, and anytime I had plans to do something he would leave and force me to cancel my plans. I agree with you and know what we are up against. I have been working oN a plan of escape for nearly a year now. Get out before you have children living in your hell. They never change once they crossed the line and hit a woman. Why doesnt he ever take it seriously how hard he hits and how much it hurts. He has blocked every exit and sometime i feel like you are right, that i can do it but sometimes i feel like everyone hates me even my mother and children. I gave myself a deadline and stuck to it. Girl take your babies and call mobile crisis or social services. Now the credit card is in my name and I never even knew about. I went through a separation for a year when an addiction of his was uncovered and I believed the children were unsafe. The first thing you need to do is get off of your knees. With no where to go I have been taking it. I tried to leave for years, if you do it while your daughter is young, less prolonged exposure to the yuck. You will never know how much your words mean to me. He already has 3 DV charges and is going to trial to fight it. This is a biggy and the universe never dishes out more than u can handle. If she is weak and goes back after all that help. All galleries and links are provided by 3rd parties. What about the woman that is fed up with being a victim and just wants to get on with her life. I had no idea that the agencies were not very helpful. U hauls, gas money, food money, rental deposits. Different states, regions, cities, and communities have different types of help available for women who need money and other types of help for leaving their husbands. Talk to Social Services about financial resources for single parents. He ingored my comments about leaving for awhile. I have a almost 3yo and ive been with this guy for 14 yrs nx month. I have been saving for months now and progress is slow. My husband and I have been existing in a loveless, sexless marriage for half of our marriage. - Laurie. On Easter this year we went to his families house for a huge Easter get together. My child witness how sad and emotional I am. He threatens to have me arrested or committed if i wont shut up. I have suffered alone in silence for many years now. I feel hurt trapped and pissed at how he treats me. I need support and aid from others, and I need to forgive myself for clinging to this relationship for so long. Lisa, I had many episodes where I would leave and return to my abuser. He is very talkative, including with the ladies. And then respectfully decide are you staying or are you going. The internet is great supply of knowledge on all subjects. I used to have confidence, dreams and ambition. He was so interesting, complimentary, concerned, and generous when we started out. The future is looking really super bright for me.
Mint vine is my favorite because I have made the most money from it. Tired of coming home to someone that is miserable but takes it out on everyone else and refuses to change. Amen. I wait on him, handle all of his medical issues and bills, etc. This is what I am dealing with right now. He just put his wedding ring on the counter. He recently had to close his small business in January so our income took a big hit which added all the more stress on our marriage. I am at my wits end, and without family or friends to help, I am literally scared out of my mind. He has accused me of cheating on him saying that I am addicted to looking at men even though I never do I am to scared to even look up from the ground to even look at someone by accident. Oh I learned how to disable ONstar on my car by the way. He never stops to think that his liberties are possible ONLY because of MY dedication as the SOLE nurturing parents. From spending time with friends, career paths, taking enrichment classes, or when I made money he would always put me down, and say awful. Surely, those who have been through the system should be a part of the planning process for these agencies. For a Uhaul, gas money, hotel fare, and food money, and rental deposit for when she gets where she is going. Start doing things that help you feel powerful, strong, and confident. Every three months, canvassers from the Single Parents Food Bank come to our door, asking for donations. The entire time we were there he gave me evil looks telling me he wants to leave. It is very difficult to find job because she was not working for so long and finds really pathetic jobs that pays nothing. Secretly working to build my nest egg until I can break free. We had cps come and i even protected him out of fear that if he got in trouble it would come back 2 me. I would like to transition smoothly (for the sake of my kids) but will do what I have to do. I need You to give me a sound mind and a plan of action. He plays baseball on the weekend and is usually gone the entire day on Sunday. God bless. I did want to move to Oregon but I can still move there. While living there we faught physically almost everyday and always have accused me of sleeping with other people even until this day because when we met I was talking to someone else. He was physical and mentally abusive and controlling. If you do not have relatives or close friends to ask for a safe place to stay, then you need to reach out elsewhere. I, too, am unfortunately involved in a horrible marriage that I fantasize, almost all day everyday, about being out of. I do everything besides take care of us financially. I work, cook and clean after 7 people 4adults and 3 kids, i take care of a dog that doesnt belong to me. I will get money to leave my husband by Fall 2017. My husband verbally abuses me when we fight. Together we are both not responsible, reacting to life emotionally. I know how hard it is to even have the courage to make that first step. He seems to think I can just get gainful employment with the twinkle of an eye and all our problems will be solved. He has always accused me of doing that from day one. I have two small girls ages 8 and 11 and I am trapped myself in the time being. But I know that this is probably a delusion and it will never happen. Reading your comment has tears to my eyes. I can recall many times things he has done to me. He manages all the finances i dont have cent to my name and no way to get a job without a car. I also lost my job in January so things have been really stressful. I told him several years back I did not love him and after some time we decided to stay together for our grandchildren but I want out. Tags: divorce and money ending a marriage feeling alone in a relationship financial independence for women how to leave your husband relationship advice for women. You may want to speak with a hotline and maybe they can direct you to a local place that will allow you to move in with a zero security deposit or a private rental that you CAN afford. I never parked my car at the hotel I was staying at. I do not feel like a victim I do not feel like he has torn down my self esteem. So a lot of black women suffer in silence. I must find help somewhere or all is lost. We found this wedsite to find and help each other ladies. I try to explain that people do both but when I am having to make up for a week of nothing done, it takes away time from our weekend. I sympathize with every single one of you. I have been a good wife to him for years. I will somehow someway escape this Year no matter what. Asking my neighbors if they have any odd paying jobs I can do, such as washing windows, weeding gardens, etc. He was allowed to have friends and family, but I was not. And I am only struggling with the guilt of him being alone or not finding anyone else at his age. Not because of him, because of my own self esteem. He wants me to pretend that no one is walking around. Will he make good on his threats against my kids, parents, family. May you find strength and courage, and more than enough money to leave your husband and rebuild your life. I have always thought it is a male vs female matter. Find ways to clear noise and clutter of unhealthy attachments, bad relationships, unhappy people. Thank you SO very much for the encouragement. We are nowhere near as close as we used to be. Thanks for these tips for leaving your husband when you have no money. He got my mom (were i was staying) evicted by calling the code expection on my moms place where we later found out wasnt legally rentable. May you find the right people and resources, and get the help you need to get out of the relationships and into a good place. Im so unhappy and I dont know how to leave. He has not. Must of been where I got the idea to get in mine. I have saved some money but he is ruthless, trying to ruin me. The last time I left him he stalked me for months. Everything that goes wrong, a drink is spilled, something breaks, etc it is ALWAYS my fault or her fault. I want to be able to be on my own with my children safe and not learning to be abusive and angry like their fathers. This will help you find support and other resources. My car broke down for good finally and he refuses to get me a new one. I have been telling him since last summer to get a job if he is so unhappy. For the last couple of years I have been secretly saving money when ever possible. Its like being in a cell with a view of just a corner of the sky. He enjoys how he treats you (sick I know) in his little brain he feels it keeps you in line and on your toes. Fast forward, we been through so much stuff but when he is in a good mood all is well, but when he get in his accusation mood I turn into a baby and non stop crying. Built in GPS sucked but hey I decided to check on him a few times. Now I have the added depression of feeling old and letting him take away the best years of my life. Then I get calls at work about you need to come home early so that I can go to the grocery for dinner. No male should ever use his strength against a female. So I am stuck here until I raise enough funds to get out. Can you stay with family while you save money for your own place. keep your chin up and fight fight fight for your disability. I always like medical office jobs so I volunteered at one for a good while to Build up credential and a resume. While I may have a good job, and a little extra money. I know by reading these comments he is a sicko. Here is where I may seem to contradict myself. I am by no means telling you debt is a great idea BUT if there is a choice between leavin abuse and a little debt, I will take debt. Its so unhealthy and I just want to break free. Maybe this means finding ways to earn a little bit of spending money, even by babysitting, cleaning houses, or becoming a virtual assistant. I have done everything I possibly could to try to make this work, including going thru two years of hell in a career he wanted me to do, not me and to get NOTHINGin return. Make her and the jerk she returns to financially responsible to return the grant or loan as it were. He refused to help pay for an abortion and said he would change. Picking up cans and clipping coupons are not going to pay Dr. I did use the money saved in my home made safe a lot when things got heated. Just be careful when you are ready to leave him. I plan to get money when I grocery in cash back to Open me a saving account. But by the time I found out about it I was pregnant with our first child and having complications. But I was afraid that if I called them, they would take my son away. Does it have to be extremely horrible to divorce. Write down your goals for a year from now: how much money do you want to be making. I hate him and the life he makes me live. Still not realizing all the blood I had on my face where he had just punched me. We have been married almost 5 years now and the thing that seems to get me the most besides our financial hardships is he keeps getting my character or intentions wrong. But mental and emotional abuse always accompany physical abuse. My prayer is for strength for your emotional and physical journey, and for a healthy baby. Seriously Rose, reach out and tell someone you need help getting out. Its very hard to come up with the wherewithall to go when i know it can get much worse if i leave. My sister collected a small about of SSI as she did not have enough points to qualify for full benefits either. Abusive people most times are also cheaters too. I work 8-5 Monday to Friday and then come home to the same responsibilities that any other working mom comes home to. I was stupid enough to remarry him after he cheated on me with someone young enough to be his daughter. I have been looking for answers for years, and I come up with nothing. This man turned me to do stuff I would never do. Instead of waiting for the abuse to start I just avoided it all together. Stay strong willed and of sound heart and mind. I do not qualify for help from the government (or so they say). I was right about the fact he wouldnt change and he doesnt seem to love his own son at all let alone my other son. He accuse me of things that is not even my character. I have recently started dieting and eating healthy and working out. If you know how to do your own taxes do them on line so that the money can be put in a specific account of your choosing. With no job experience, no money but what he gave me, I figured it out. I ask myself why has god allow this to go on. I am 28 years old i have three children ages 10,7,and 6 i have only been married 4 months but have been with my husband 11 years. 2 accidents later a beautiful son, our 1st home, his seizures and yet he still rather waste it all away on meth. I want to leave him but I dont have any savings. He makes me feel like everything is my fault every single thing. May miracles be yours, and may you be able to see when they happen. How much money does it cost to feed and educate your kids. He call me a whore, a hoe and I should get paid, he tells me I have sex with our neighbors his co workers the stranger across the street or if I even look at anyone. He says i dont need a psycheck since he pays all my bills. I have been married for 4 years with my husband. You are working hard towards leaving a bad relationship and creating a better life for you and your son. I just found out he is a heroin addict, i have tired to help him get help it is pointless. Of course, not having money to leave him puts a huge stumbling block in front of you. Take your child if you have too, but preferable not. I asked her if she saw anything and she told me no, but I just have this feeling that she is not telling me the truth. I do EVERYTHING for the kids, while he has the freedom to come and go as he pleases (games, parties, etc) while the kids and I are home or at extracurricular activity or homeschooling lessons or tutoring my learning challenged son. I researched Narcissitic and bingo described my husband to the tea. I shouldnt gel ashamed amd worthless bit i do. He was extremely abusive and i never wanted my son to feel scared, see him hurt me or possibly hurt my son. My fear is that he will try again but I did tell him that if he does one more time, I will not hesitate to contact the police. Surround yourself with people who love you, who are kind, and who support you Peace on your journey. And yes, single income families often live close to the poverty line. We have 3 kids, the oldest is not his biologically he has raised her from birth. I guess I took him back cause I felt sorry for him even though he was mentally abusive. I never tried because I figured they only help people who have children. My husband gives money every single time because he knows single parents need money help because raising kids is expensive. Here are some questions to ponder, and to help you gain awareness and insight into your own self. My situation is SO SO messed up on so many levels. You need to get quiet and listen to it, for that voice will tell you what you need to know. And they have already been mentally and emotionally harmed. And last Fall he cheated on me with another mom in my daughters class. I am 40 and have been with my boyfriend for 15 years. Nobody says they have to put it in her hand. Have only spoken to my daughter concerning it. I felt like my emotions were back to normal, and then I made a plan to get my children and I out. He is who he is, and let that sleeping dog lay. I am secretly storing and saving my money to leave my husband. Where are the organizations that give true financial help in getting the hell out and staying out. I feel so soo stupid for coming back because his promises of change where short lived. I admit that I am guilty of working late just because I dread coming home. Some times it takes a good Doctor to assist or good medical documentation. But this man such shows me he dont wanna be alive. Has called me vile names in front of my children and spoken ill of me to his friends, He pretends to be caring if we happen to be seen out together, but is cold and distant the second we come home. He tells me constantly how fat and worthless I am and how I ruined his life. Now I feel confident I can do what I need to do. I know that I will need divine strength from above to make my exit. When i got pregnant the second time i planned on an abortion because i was still living with my parents and my boyfriend just started being verbally abusive and i actually broke up with him a week prior to finding out. These lazy no good men will get what they deserve in the end. And I have (all good things can be used for bad things too) GM vehicles with onstar so he COULD track where I would go. I left my oldest sons father when he was only 3 months and moved in with my parents. He has stolen all of our tvs, money from my payroll cards and even sold our kids video game systems. He is angry before his feet even hit the floor. We operate a small business together, owning name only. I feel stuck I have cried and been stuck for a good long time now not knowing what to do. Today is not a good day because i am afraid to come out of the basement and anger him. It sounds like you really are putting your faith into action, and taking actions that rely on faith, prayer, and trust in God. com has zero-tolerance policy against illegal pornography. It is important that when a woman who is getting hurt is understood to be honest. And the battered one feels fear again and again. It is so interesting reading reading your comments as it seems so much like something I would have written. I went through depression, sleep deprivation, etc. I have been in married to my husband for 6 years we have a beautiful 5 year old son who is my world. Now he loses his jobs left and right and we are always broke. And even if he acts and behaves nice in public like mine does. May you create a life you love, filled with hope and faith. I implore You, God to give me sanity and peace. I wish you all best, if nothing more you most definitely are in a mental abusive situation. I am exhausted and drained and do not know how to escape this vicious cycle. I wish u all the best and pray we all find courage, and guidance on how to move fwd with this part of our lives. He found out about narcissism and helped educate me on it. I find myself full of hate for him all i wanna do is run away. I am 27 with a 7 year old and aa 2 year old. Idk how much ima find a why to leave this year. He calls me EVERY single name you can think of in front of the kids. I have managed to save 1000 dollars but its not enough to get out. I m in a 38 year marriage that is unbearable. My concern was the children as well as you should not stay. of My Bad Karma. I throw myself on Your mercy and ask for Your help and strength in freeing me from this abusive relationship. He wonders why none of us ever want to be in the same room with him. He forced me to work for him for the past 23 years. My kids grown and living an hour or two away too busy to see what hell I was seriously living all the years they growing up. As a matter of fact he will probably be a broke guy if he has been keeping a girlfriend or two on the side. Thanks i know this is right on and am appreciative for the words. And this will work only if the two can get past self. I wanted us to open up a checking and savings account before the wedding and he said we would after the wedding. I know that this is not Your will for me. Im no income and stuck with an abuser with LOTS of income. They understand what your going threw because some of the workers have been in your shoes. I know my parents would give me as much I needed to leave him but my pride is stopping me. I have been with mine a lot longer -partly because I kept bouncing between him and my equally toxic mother. You are not the only one who is being affected by this. What gets me through the moment is visualizing the future where i am free, safe, and most of all, open to good experiences that will come as soon as I am not under his thumb. You may not be ready yet, but you will be ready one day. How to Leave Your Husband When You Have No Money. If he wants a partnership that is fine as long as we are partners. I have no job, no degree, but am in the process of starting a business that could potentially provide much more financial stability atleast for myself and the kids incidentals. we have a 1 year old son. In the meantime, I encourage you to get as emotionally and spiritually healthy as you can. He is dwindling away our income and we bring out the worst in each other. Been reading this thread and can relate to a lot of women here. He claims he loves them and cares for them. I am in the same boat, trying to get enough money to leave my husband. I have no money, friend, or family so I have no help or support. Save money. My self esteem is and has been low due to my childhood. Some days I think I should just take the bus home and live under a bridge. Help me, in the name of Christ Jesus, I pray. He asked me to do something on it and then aggressively snatched it away from me before deleting a lot bc I asked what he had to hide. He has no reason he could other than hes the father. If I were to divorce, I could live with an old friend out of state, a place where I would have a better place to find a job. We are loving with his parents in a one bedroom house, which means my children and i sleep on a hardwood floor and he sleeps on the couch. My prayer is that you find more than money: may you find wisdom, guidance, peace, and emotional support. I want to leave so bad but with no money no car and a young son finding a way out is going to be hard. Now, we spend tons of time around each other. She works at home cleaning and cooking while her husband sits on his ass at home because he is the one making money. I have been smacked bitten and had items thrown at me and yogurt thrown in my face my car has been damaged. I am leaving him by qorking the maximum 20 hrs allowed in my state than getting cash assistance from my job and family building as sson as it kicks in i am taking my kids and never looking back. I am stuck too and have physical things wrong. My personality is quiet, I keep to myself, guess you could call that an introvert. Ask to be connected with other women who were financially dependent, who rebuilt their lives. with all the comments on this page, just imagine what all of us could do for each other, together if that were possible. He controls everything even though I work fulltime I have no money since he takes it all when I get paid my husband makes 4 times more than me but he takes all of my money so I have nothing to use unless I ask him for funds and give him a good excuse for why I need it. Its good advice but i honestly feel like my life has been destroyed and obliterated. I feel like my story is nothing compared to some of these. My mind was so overwrought in survival that it took a long time for me to realize I have been abused verbally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Since then there have only been a couple of physical moments and that has only been pushing me down and shaking me. I sat there for a long time wondering if I should call the police. I am feed up and biding my time for income tax refund. But later in our relationship I found out that he has a mental illness where he gets angry very easily. I do not speak to him except for concerns at the business or our 2 grandchildren. We moved to the city and away from them right after, so I could work towards my dreams and heal. I have to ask permission to go to the store and he checks grocery and shopping bags as well as reciepts whenever I go shoping to ensure I dont buy anything but what he allows the is when he actually lets me leave the house by myself and when I do he ensures that my son is with me at all times. If I could figure out HOW I could, at least, pay that on time every month without him knowing about it, that would be golden. Different cities, states, and provinces have different resources available to help women who need money to leave their husbands. Remember that it takes time to save enough money to leave your husband. Its true. I recommend trying online surveys if you want to get money to leave your husband. Where I live the neighboring state is about 30 miles south of us and most of the cab companies offer a flat rate to commute passenger especially when they no its guaranteed salary. From deep in my heart, for all abused women, thank you. And I have to constantly defend myself against accusations. Kirk and Squatchd say in the comments below. He probably would never come against a male physically. My two kids, 11 and 17 from a previous marriage, have to go without doing so many things. I know having a plan and a road map to a new life is a great beginning. I left a promising career based on his promises to take care of me and the kids without fail. Get a lawyer who takes no money down to fight for you. I want you to know that you have helped me. I gained some weight, I am normally a very small frame. The one good thing I can say is that he is a great dad he treats our son completely differently but when it comes to me he will yell at me and degrade me for leaving a wet rag in the sink instead of hanging it up. This has happened so many times but he always does or says something different that hurts me. I am just so hurt and confused as to how someone can be so immuned to love and its surroundings. We take no responsibility for the content on any website which we link to, please use your own discretion while surfing the links. There are a network of people who can take you in temporarily as you get out on your own. The problem is that I am embarrassed and ashamed to ask them for money. Please get them and yourself out now and let your children learn that this is not okay. You can firm choice not to ever contact him again. I lied for him, kept it a secret as much as I could. Plus I saved other money like I got cash back from every super market trip. Help me, Lord through this transition period and lead me into a land that has promise. I do agree on selling what you can and pocketing that money in an account with a different address. He has now gotten to a point of not allowing a relationship with HIS family. I promise you, if I ever get the opportunity, I want to start a grant fund for victims of emotional and financial abuse. Someone else in the family texted me that night and told me about it. So somehow I am going to manifest my way out of this. He was talking about me like that as well. I want out of my marriage so bad for years but to scared to do it. My bf acts decent around everyone else in public, but then is horrible to me at home. You may be able apply for a credit card or loan in your own name and wont need his signature. Those questions you listed, I am going to seriously ponder over. If it was just me that would be one thing, but I have 4 kids that will be affected by this. You have been with him a short time and have no children together, you made it to the city and you have the world and your dreams at your fingertips. This will save you money in the long run. If his mom choose to keep giving him momey to use than she can bury her son alone too. I hope god forgives me but i dont understand why hes still here. He has pushed me, grabbed my arms and shook me, slapped me around, used my hair as a hold to drag me across rooms. And honestly i dont see how i can even get a job i am such a nervous wreck. Stand up, take a deep breath, and decide you are going to help yourself. The only way you are escaping this is to make the decision to live a different life. But not for long, the next thing I remembered is remembering see stars. He is manipulative towards me and drinks beer and smokes pot. The male and female bite, beat up and attack everyone. I pray for strength, courage, and faith as you move forward in your life. I have left numerous in my 17 year marriage to have no other choice but to come back. Writing helps you find answers from the best possible source: that still small voice inside you. I can live with a friend who lives 30 miles from my job but I would have no way to get there or to day care without public transportation. I honestly feel like I have been pushed to the point of hating him. Thank you. I am judged harshly by society as it is and not supported. I appreciate you giving me strength and motivation but im really unhappy and hopeles today. However over the last 5 years I have made leaps and bounds in personal growth. I really feel that all having some sort of money Support even before filling for divorce so a women will not go into that hell hole again for financial problems. So here I am healing but I realize now he is like them too. He was there in the room, and he was condoning it. Even my tears he just stares and me and I can see he tunes out. May you find peace, love, joy, compassion, and goodness. If he does any of those things he does them half way and leaves something for me to finish. Using coupons to get free and store the TP, toothpaste etc in a box or at a friends. I know that nothing good remains in this relationship. this time also allow some time to think about what I really want for a career. I left him years ago when he had a child outside our marriage but before that he had a 4year relationship with the woman. She was also schizophrenic, and we moved to new city every six months or so. I had a great paying 3 rd shidt job but i had to quit due to his useage, he got fired from jis job and we were evicited from our home. When I started praying a lot and reading the Bible and asking for help and understanding. Many financially dependent wives say they have no help, nobody to support them, nobody to go stay with. The longer you stick with it, the more money you make. I am stuck. It will get better, you will get through it. It takes a lot of courage to be honest about your marriage, and your wish to leave your husband. I hate to even think of displacing my children and uprooting their lives without a plan of action. Mental and emotional abuse can make a person so depressed that it is difficult to get out for years upon years. I am 26 I have three kids ages 7,3 and 2 years old. I do not have my own car, and I do not make enough to support myself and three kids all alone. Start calling apartments to get on wait lists and or to know how how much is needed to move in. I am an educated woman but I am so underpaid and I am willing to do what I can to just break free from him and allow my girls to have somewhat of a life of breathing as well. I have never experienced the things you have, but I have my own story -as I guess we all do- and I am also alone and stuck with a controlling abuser. You are better than him, and your kids are better than him. Summer has been awful for the past 2 years. My husband slowly started to take control of everything in my life now I am at the point were all of my family lives clear acrossed the country and I have absolutely no friends I am actually scared to even try to make friends in fear of upseting him. I have been with my husband only 8 years, he is my 3rd husband. and for what. When I finally made up my mind to leave, it took less than a month to finalize the plans. I am not married but I have been with this man for six years. Its insane to think so many woman are going through this. When the time comes and a way comes along all of us will be where we need to be. turned Me soo Bitter from My True Self. I have access to his bank accounts but he threatens me with arrest if I take out more than what I need to pay bills or run the company. I have no job, no car, no money to leave. He is no longer a provider, mate, or companion. He messed that up for himself, but always has somewhere he needs to go. I caught him in a few less than honorable situations since my first post here two years ago. Thank you all for reading this scattered message. I have called shelters and other things you can do. Because you have to rebuild who you know you are.
